Why Raine Shouldn't Cook!
by xxdisturbance
Summary: Basically, just a little humorous one-shot about what happens when Raine cooks, and why she should be shunned for cooking AT ALL! Hehe, well, I'm bad at summaries, but read if you want a laugh.


**So heya guys, Author's Note time. Well, this is my first ToS fic, and I think I'm just gonna make this into a one-shot for the sake of argument. Uhh… I do not own ToS or any of it's characters, except Kratos. He's mine. Back off. X3 But, no seriously, I own nothing, that's that. Any questions? :3**

The whole gang nonchalantly walked out of the dank caves of the Temple of Ice, only to hear tummy's grumbling, or maybe it was just Zelos drooling over his little hunnies? Who knows? Raine knows.

"Ahem… How is everyone feeling? I know Celcius was tough, but we made it! Thank you Sheena," the silver-haired beauty very gratefully exclaimed. She dug the end of her staff into the snow, and stopped suddenly as if to take a minute or two to ponder what to do next. Everyone knows Professor Sage is the one who's always thinking ahead, even if Lloyd tended to lead more than anyone else. That's a good thing though, right? Lloyd Irving + making decisions trouble.

"Ah, Celcius was a piece of cake. I just wish she would've stuck around a little longer," of course Zelos Wilder would be the one to wish for such a thing, instead of being glad they had Sheena Fujibayashi as the group's summoner, and being the normal womanizer he is.

"Thanks Sheena for overcoming your fears for us!" Little Genis only had this to say, as he hopped in the air for a victory leap for the brave assasain from Tethe'alla. Genis Sage isn't much like his sister, in the way that he's still a kid, so he's very free-spirited.

"Yes, thank you Sheena. You're really doing a lot for us," always feeling obligated to apologize or thank anyone who does a good deed, Colette smiled and tilted her head to the side. She was always the one you could count on to make your heart bear a grin, whether she's tripping over switches in Iselia, or just showing off that sweet smile. Colette Brunel is a famous name by now, being the Chosen of Sylvarent.

"Now that you mention it, I am feeling kinda hungry Professor. Bet you heard my stomach just now?" Lloyd questioned his teacher, knowing exactly what everyone else was thinking, but hoping he was wrong.

"Oh, I just figured that was Zelos snuggling a penguin! But of course, let us venture to Flanoir, where we can set up camp and I can practice my cooking!" slightly excited, Raine jumped at the chance to make food of any sorts. After the last time, nobody ever let her cook, and for good cause!

After the gang agreed to follow Raine to the snowy city of Flanoir, and realized the horror of what was going to take place, they began the journey there, which really didn't take long at all.

"Well here we are, Flanoir once again. Let's go set up camp nearby," Raine walked to a nearby spot, and started to build a campfire and take out pots and utensils, allowing the gang to wander away to window shop or huggle penguins. Whatever floats their boat, eh? Professor Sage peeked behind her back to see if her brother was nearby, and luckily for her, Genis was a few feet away, making a snow angel.

"Genis, can you come start the fire?" whispered Raine to her brother, hoping he'd hear her, which he did. Genis lept up, and stood behind his sister, staring at the pile of wood she had set up already. He cast the spell, and a tiny flame shot from his Kendama, lighting the fire perfectly. "Thank you Genis!"

He scampered off to throw snowballs at Lloyd along with Zelos, who was busy being friendly with a new hunnie of his. Meanwhile, Raine is back at the campfire, trying to cook steaks for the group. She takes out a skillet and begins her conquest to become a better cook. She lays down her staff next to the fire and continues to cook, steak by steak, until she made enough for each person in the group. As the smell rises over the city of Flanoir, everyone came running back for the opportunity to eat anything at all. They drooled over the delicioius food, and begged to eat. Raine began to serve her starving companions, just as they all notice something odd.

"Raine? I think something is very wrong," Sheena's voice was shaking, not knowing whether to be the one to break the bad news or not. By then, everyone except the professor herself had noticed exactly what had happened. Lloyd, being the person he is, would end up being the guy who let the cat out of the bag.

"Your staff! It just got burnt to pieces!"

"Oh crap. Zelos, where's that penguin you huggled?"

**I know, I know, crappy ending, right? It's not the best fic I've written, but I just felt like writing, so I figured I'd post and get some feedback. Thanks for reading at all though, everyone. :**


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